Praise the Lard

Through the lard all good things happen.  Have you ever had a lard pie crust?  Orders of magnitude better than Crisco.

Maybe that's the problem with modern society.  People have turned away from the lard.

Also... remember to praise cheeses... because a little Gruyere in the crust makes it heavenly.

Questions

Who am I? 
Why am I here? 
How then shall I live?

A Deal with the Devil

Never make a deal with the Devil.  He doesn't really exist, so you're really just betting against yourself!