What Religion Are You?

"What Religion are you?" she asked.
"How often do you fuck your husband?", I responded.

God, can I ask You a question?

Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God:
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God:
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God:
Me: Well, I woke up late
God:
Me: My car took forever to start
God:
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God:
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God:
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God:
Me (humbled): OH, I probably should have set my alarm clock since knew I had important meeting, but I went to bed drunk and said fuck it.  My bad!
GOD:
Me: (ashamed) And my car hasn't started right for weeks.  I should probably get that looked at.  I know it needs a new battery. Nobody's fault but mine.
God:
Me (embarrassed): And I know the lunch server.  She's is going through some tough times.  I could have been more understanding instead of getting all huffy.  What's a little cheese?
God:
Me (softly): And cell phones suck, I know that. Calls always drop.  I probably shouldn't have been talking while driving anyway.  Good thing there's caller ID on this thing.  I can see who it was and call them back later, unless it was a telemarketer.  Even God can't stop telemarketers.
God:
Me: And OMG! What am I doing?  Why do I have to make this stuff all about me?  And why do I have to pretend that someone did stuff TO me?  That sounds so unhealthy!
God:
Me: I really need to start to trust myself, work on my relationships, get some excercise instead of relying on a foot massager, eat better, drink less, spend less time on facebook, etc.
God:
Me: Hmmm.... Taking an active role in my own happiness... That actually sounds like a pretty good plan.
God:
REPOST if you Believe in HIM
Worth posting.

Easter Sunday Service

On Easter Sunday we were treated to the Missa Gaia. which we didn't realize was not only based on the structure of the Catholic Mass, but contained parts of it.  When we came to the Beatitudes I almost lost it.  Part of the Sermon on the Mount, they proclaim that the meek, the poor, those in mourning, the hungry and thirsty, the merciful the peacemakers, the pure of heart, and the persecuted all suffer in this life but will find their rewards in heaven... and... yeah... I have a problem with that. While it's true that we all suffer to some extent in this life, the only reward after death is death itself, as in no longer being a participant in this world.  If you think that's a reward then I feel sorry for you, and you need to work to improve your lot right now and right here.  There is no other way.

Last week there was an article in the WaPost about five myths of Easter.  It closed with "Choose not to believe in the Resurrection, and Jesus is just another prophet. Believe in the Resurrection, and your whole life changes".  And yes, that's true.  Once you choose to believe in the Ressurection, you have to believe in a whole parcel of other stuff that comes along with it, otherwise the Ressurection is impossible and doesn't make any sense.  Much of what you have to believe in support of the Ressurection is just horrible stuff, most of which is either just not true, or not applicable in today's modern world.

So let me counter that.  If you choose NOT to believe in ressurections your whole life changes for the better, because things finally make sense.  Reject heaven and god, all things become clear and you are able to live in the here and now, which is where it all takes place.

SMBC Comics on God, Math and Religion

The point is, if you want certainly about god, you're almost certainly wrong.  Better to doubt or admit that you can't understand the complexity of the world than to accept an answer that is ... well... you get it...

If Prayers Worked

If prayers worked I would pray for your healing. I really truly would.  I would spend every waking minute prostrating myself and doing whatever it took to get the almighty to intervene and make right whatever's wrong with you or your spouse or your child or your relative or friend.

But prayers don't work like that.  So instead I'll work for more fair and equitable healthcare, to help get you access to doctors and hospitals and medicines who actually can heal you when you need them.  That seems like a better use of our time here on earth, so I hope you'll accept that instead of prayer.  It turns out to be a lot more work.

Bob

Amanda: How is the Dalai Lama the reincarnation of the Buddah if he achieved Nirvana?
Bob: I was raised Roman Catholic. If you want someone to explain conflicting religious mysteries, you got the wrong guy.

A Pope for the Atheists

We all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards peace. If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. ‘But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!’ But do good: we will meet one another there,” – Pope Francis, in a homily today (5/22/2013)

http://en.radiovaticana.va/news/2013/05/22/pope_at_mass:_culture_of_encounter_is_the_foundation_of_peace/en1-694445